Connect with Jane

“Why are selfish people often unhappy even though they frequently get what they want? Is it their inability to appreciate what they have?” Soul Selfish

Young Woman Showing Her Heartfelt GratitudeMost people define selfishness as excessive concern for themselves while disregarding others. That is ego selfishness, a relentlessly driving voice insisting that I need to be, do or have this or that to feel good, loved and valued.

The ego is a separating, comparative and competitive belief system. It makes us feel stronger or weaker, more or less worthy. Ego noisily takes over, sometimes forecasting gloom in the form of fear. Frequently it obliterates the quiet sweetness of the soul with high excitement and drama. There is always a winner and a loser, not only in a game, but in life.

In contrast, soul selfishness sources from the deepest part of ourselves, the place from which we are all connected. Gratitude is the feeling that most easily leads us to our souls.

Look around and notice the people, experiences and things that you appreciate. Think about the kindnesses and gifts others have offered you in the past or present. How does it feel to appreciate your family and home, your friends, teachers and workmates? Your health, abundance, talents and abilities? Art, music, beauty, sunshine, the majesty of nature?

Where are your thoughts focused

  • On what is pleasing you or what is not?
  • On success or failure?
  • On what you have or what you don’t?

Whether these thoughts are associated with the past, the present, or imagined in the future, your thoughts determine your feelings.

Choose gratitude more of the time. The more you appreciate, the better you will feel!


I invite all of you to share your stories and support one another here.