Connect with Jane

Often, people focus on their strengths and successes, while avoiding the places where they feel less able. Exploring our vulnerabilities requires a willingness to shift from being knowers and doers to being learners.

—Excerpted from Soul Selfish

Although it feels great to enjoy and share our knowledge and talents, the choice to avoid revealing our frailties continually drains our energy and confidence. Why do we find it so difficult to share our ignorance, inexperience or ineptitude with others? Why do we resist meeting them head-on?

Man Hand Writing Judge Less Accept More With Black Marker On Visual ScreenSelf-judgment is the reason we avoid facing our vulnerabilities.

Rather than accept that we need guidance and support, all too often we judge ourselves as inadequate and not good enough because of our vulnerabilities. That assessment is so debilitating and hurtful that we turn away from healing those parts of ourselves that could potentially grow in us. Yet the more those issues live within us unattended, the more fearful and insecure we become. A vicious cycle!

Although every person has places where they feel more developed, stronger or better, have you ever heard in your mind:

“Oh I wish I were smarter, more hip or chic.”

“I wish I were funnier or more daring.”


What a relief it would be to stop hiding and embrace those places where we feel less. What a comfort it would be to turn to others who are more advanced to help us in the ways we want to grow. What a joy it is to learn what we want to learn, and for our mentors to teach us what they know.

Dropping our self-judgments and healing our vulnerabilities are acts of self-love.

They are choices that move us toward our wholeness and our happiness, giving others the opportunity to contribute.


I invite all of you to share your stories and support one another here.