Connect with Jane

No, I am not asking about your life savings! I am asking about YOU!

Portrait of a smiling cute woman making selfie photo on smartphone isolated on a white background

In one of her sessions many years ago, Sara shared a story with me. Pregnant with her second child, she decided to leave her job in a marketing research firm and begin an at-home business so that she could be with her children. One of her clients was pleased to continue to work with her and he soon recommended several others. Her success was almost immediate. As her workload grew it was obvious that she not only needed child-care help, but also part time assistance from another experienced marketing professional.

Sara had the perfect candidate in mind — Mary, a retired woman she had worked with at the firm. She was a competent, cooperative and pleasant woman whom Sara knew she could trust to be reliable and do an excellent job. They had worked well together. Sara’s challenge was to create a sound financial offer. What could she safely pay Mary?

Sara decided that $60 per hour was the maximum she could afford. She called Mary to see if she was interested in working part time and to find out what would satisfy her financially. They had their usual friendly personal conversation, and when Sara asked her about working together, Mary was delighted. Sara asked her what hourly rate would satisfy her and Mary said $30.  Sara was astonished and uncomfortable, feeling that was far too little. She told Mary she would like to pay her $50 per hour. Mary said “No, $30. was fine, that $50 wasn’t necessary at all. Sara insisted, and they settled at $40, each feeling excited and satisfied.

This incident stands out in my mind. It is an example of a woman whose diminished self-worth caused her to ask for far less than what was available, and reject the more generous amount she was offered.

Does this story evoke discomfort in you? 

• Do you sell your contributions and value short?

• Do you do this in your professional life?

• Do you undervalue yourself in your personal relationships?

• Are you crediting yourself sufficiently for what you bring to the party — in both professional and personal situations?

You are the primary person who determines your worthiness. Your earning power has much to do with your self-worth. So does the quality of your relationships — how much acknowledgement, support and appreciation do you receive?

The world mirrors your degree of inner worthiness back to you. What are you worth?