Connect with Jane

Do your personal relationships want more for you…or from you? In reality we are not at the effect of our relationships even though it may sometimes feel that way.

Our cultural training as women is to habitually take on the role of nurturing everyone in our circle, while often neglecting ourselves. We diligently attend to our children, homes, aging parents, friends and professional lives, often overlooking our own personal needs and desires. Finally, when feeling burnt out, we may ask for help in frustration, or worse yet, not ask ahappiness, health, people, holidays and love concept - smiling young woman in white t-shirt holdingt all and feel resentful. Why is that so, when through our choices we generate and define the quality of our relationships as much as others? (excerpted from Soul Selfish)

Fatigue and irritation are symptoms of the imbalance in our giving and receiving. All to often, women feel depleted, functioning from an empty tank. Giving so much, we are in need of replenishment. You might consider giving yourself some of the beautiful, nurturing love you so open-heartedly give to others.

We need to be given to, both from ourselves and from others.

How free are you to prioritize your needs and desires some of the time?

How free are you to ask for what you want — time, space, help, a listening ear?

And how openly do you receive what others offer?

Unwittingly, we discourage people from giving to us when we decline their offers with responses like:

  • “No, you don’t have to do that.”
  • “Thanks, but I can take care of that myself?”

Have you ever given a gift to a person who doesn’t open it in your presence or respond to you for days? How does that feel? Receiving openly brings happiness to both the giver and the receiver.

I have learned that by receiving gifts and attention with appreciation, I have encouraged more kindness than ever!


I invite all of you to share your stories and support one another here.